Listening With Your Heart

I had a really transformative appointment with Anne on Friday, and gearing up for the Embodied Leadership and Facilitator training at the end of the month. It’s through our chats that I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve always known I had a special connection to Universal Source Energy. I never questioned this guidance and Source when I was little. Since reclaiming that part of of myself in recent years, I’m ready to take my healing to yet another level, as I make the transition from student to Teacher.

I shared a story with her on Friday that I wrote as a child about the spirit of girl. In the story, I go on to describe this girl as a new friend at school, only to find out later, during a dream visitation, that she was in fact the ghost of the daughter of a Shaman. I wrote this story when I was in grade 4!

When I got home from my appointment, I was so excited about remembering this story I decided to venture down to my storage unit to see what other school-aged treasures I could find. I’m really grateful that mom saved a special box filled with school stuff, such as report cards, art work, and some Hilroy scribblers filled with stories and drawings from different subjects. A treasure trove of goodies!

In the box I discovered a scribbler from religion class, and it in a special poem. Keep in mind, while growing up in French Acadian Cape Breton, Catholicism class was mandatory. And, while I don’t consider myself religious at all now, I do believe it all comes from what will often be described as Universal Consciousness/Love/Source Energy.

I would describe this poem as a declaration of love. I wrote when I was 10. It’s evident that I never questioned my relationship with Source back then, and it was only natural for me to believe in it, and to declare that all you need to do to access it is to listen.

Watch! Listen! Jesus is with us. Don’t you see him? Watch! Listen! Jesus is with us. Can’t you hear him?
I like this part, because you can see him in your mind, and you can hear him in your heart.

Wayne Dyer used to refer to the book Power Vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, a lot in his talks. In the book Hawkins describes Jesus as someone who made a difference through living his life from the highest level of consciousness and vibration possible. He was operating at such a high level that he was capable of raising the frequency of the planet by counterbalancing the negatively vibrating energies with this positivity. (If you are interested to having a quick read about it, this article Do You Make a Difference? by Wayne is a good introduction to the concept).

To be present is to successfully tap into your own heart (Watch! Listen!). We all had access to this deep knowing as children, we just forgot it somewhere along the way. Our access to it didn’t changed, but our perception of it did.

There is always time to reclaim this high vibration and to make a difference in one’s life and to those around you. All that is required of you is an awareness of your own vibration, and the conscious effort to listen in, and look around for evidence of this love. Love is all around us, is in us, and is us.

With love,

xo SJ

Knowing I'm Enough...Now

It was exactly 12 years ago today that I graduated with my Masters Degree from Dal.

Not too long ago, I was going through old photos, and came across one of my parents and I in front of the Rebecca Cohen auditorium on graduation day. Seeing myself in the photo brought me right back to how I felt that day, and to be honest, it made my heart sink a little. 

When sharing my feelings about a momentous day such as graduation, one might expect me to describe a sense of pride and accomplishment. Instead, I would describe it as a day filled with sadness and disappointment. Hidden behind my smile was negative self-talk, pain, and anger. From my perspective, I could have "performed better.” I recognize now that this type of inner dialogue was slowly but surely becoming the silent killer of my spirit. 

It might come as a surprise to you that despite having achieved all A-‘s on my transcript, lots of committee involvement, holding down a rare 2yr-long internship during my studies, *and* landing a tenure-track faculty position before I even walked across the stage, still wasn't “enough" for me. To top things off, because I didn’t make the cut for Beta Phi Mu (the International Library & Information Studies Honor Society) or receive any other graduation awards, I didn't think I was deserving of anything on graduation day. 

Rather than focusing on my accomplishments, and feeling grateful for where I was, I kept searching for what was missing, and then I bet myself up for that. On the outside, I was smiling, celebrating and hugging fellow graduates.  On the inside I hated myself.  It seems pretty absurd to think of speaking to myself in this manner today. In hindsight, I do appreciate where I was at the time, because it lead me to where I am now. 

While I do try to remain positive in my posts, I think it's important to share the dark parts of my story, because that's what makes sharing authentic and real. Perhaps revealing these parts of myself might inspire someone who might be struggling?  Practicing vulnerability is hard, and it takes a lot of courage. It does get easier the more I share, and I think the reason being is, I have zero attachment to the outcome. Sharing just feels like the right thing to do, and it's important for my personal growth.

During the last couple of months I have been spending a lot of time listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer’s audio book Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life : Living the Wisdom of the Tao. In it, he reflects on the teachings of the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu. He shares the ways in which we can remain centered in the Tao (aka higher power, spirit, God...) by knowing we're enough by dropping the need for external validation. Listening to these teachings raises my level of self-awareness and reaffirms that I am on the right path. All I have to do is be still and go within to access this ancient wisdom. Everything I need is right here. 

We all have an important role to play and have something to offer by first recognizing our higher purpose, no matter what society deems "successful."  Once I made the decision to live from this heart-centered place, my life completely shifted.  Things became much simpler, and more peaceful, and I started treating myself with more dignity, self-respect and love. 

When I reflect back on my past, I don't label my experiences as positive or negative, but rather as opportunities that shape who I am.  At our very core we are all born whole and enough.  What got me here? A hell of a lot of soul whispers and synchronicities. I am excited to share more of these stories with you in upcoming posts, now that I'm back to writing on a more regular basis.

Much love, 

Xo Sarah Jane